a little help here?

I just have to get this off my chest and then I'll be able to let it go- my husbands appalling lack of interactive parenting tonight just ticks me off. Not that I am looking for a massive song and dance every evening....but guess what buddy? We are all tired. Doesn't matter if you drove far today or not. And, the nerve to assume that your day is ALWAYS more difficult than my own makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs sometimes.
I suppose in a way I should be grateful, because I know he can be great- so when he is not, I am sad. I know (in fact, I often witness) there are husbands who don't do a thing- but it just really gets on my nerves when there is no consideration towards what kind of day I have had before he just lays out the negativity of his day on us.
All right. Better now.

www.itshiphopbaby.com

"Are Ya Gonna Have Another?"

That is the question that everyone seems to ask and I gotta tell ya. . . Its eating me up inside. For every single second of brain space I have left in my head this is what I think about. Should I have another kid. My decision making on this issue LITERALLY goes when the wind blows. I could be getting out of my car, walking into the grocery store elated that I have made my decision to have another kid. Then I pay for my groceries, walk back to the car and my decision has been swayed.. I'm then against it. and this goes on and on and on like this.. everyday, every week, every month. I cannot seem to stand on one side of this issue 100%. You know what the most frustrating part of it is? My husband is the same way. We are both totally and completely on the fence on this one. so what do we do about it? nothing. No protection when we have sex, yet I'm not getting pregnant. I just turned 37 years old and my husband will be 40 next year. no reason to not have another kid but also a reason to consider as well. I am confused like I have never been before. Help. but no one can help me. i cant even go to a therapist to talk about it because this is a decision that only I can make. not even my husband. Only me. i have a beautiful, smart and most of all healthy 2 1/2 year old girl. she is obviously the center of my being. is this enough? for me? for her? for my husband? i have to admit something: The vision of me being pregnant and being in the ultrasound when you can find out the sex of your baby and the technician telling us that its a boy brings tears to my eyes. because i KNOW in my heart of hearts that my husband would love a son. he wont admit it and maybe hes really telling the truth that he doesn't care what the sex is, but maybe its just me. I would love to give my husband a son. that is enough for me to have another child. having said that, my first pregnancy was pretty horrifying and I cannot imagine going through it again. especially while I'm taking care of a 3 year old. But I would love to give her a sibling. and the debate goes on and on and on and on. I guess we will just have to see what happens.

A Momentary Lapse of Reason...

that is chronic and seems comparable to my adolescent years when my brain was full of hormones and pharmaceuticals. That's how I feel most days at 39 1/2 years old with 3 boys between the ages of 2 & 5, having joined this club I didn't know existed! Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't trade lives with ANYONE (and have even recently come to the conclusion that there is still one "soul" missing), but I am TIRED, at the end of my training for the Chicago Marathon in two weeks--my first, and looking forward to going back to yoga with my kids all occasionally in school! The point is, yesterday with all of the kids and the dog in the car, about a mile from my house, my middle son asks, "Mommy, why isn't [the baby]'s car seat buckled?". (Can you hear the screeeeeeeching sound made by the mini-van tires as I pulled over?!?) Anyway, in my former life I was an educator, I consider myself grounded and relatively intelligent, and yet I forgot the MOST important thing I had to do that morning. Although I am pretty opinionated, I try very hard not to be judgmental--as in the case of the woman who left her baby in the car all day--because we ALL make mistakes, some of us have just been luckier than others. My heavy heart goes out to her--she is living my worst nightmare.

SWR

Catch It's Hip Hop, Baby! in Ebony Magazine this month!

It's Hip Hip, Baby! is featured in Ebony Magazine this month. It's Hip Hop, Baby! is an educational DVD and CD for toddlers. Fun musical performances teach children the fundamentals they need to learn-- abc's, numbers, animals and colors. The CD features all of the music on the DVD in addition to two bonus tracks -- "Hip Hop Exercise" and "Fruit Song."

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The Birthday Party Dilemma

When my son was born, my husband and I swore we would never be one of those parents who threw lavish birthday parties for our son. Lo and behold we're two months from celebrating his third birthday and I'm in the process of calling around for suitable venues, entertainment options (will a clown be too scary?), and deliberating on menu options (Are peanuts really off-limits?). Involuntarily, I feel like I've been sucked into some sort of vortex of a "toddler rite of passage." While weighing the decision of whether or not to host a birthday party for my soon-to-be three year old, which will include other two and three year olds (YIKES), there's far more reasons to have a blow-out party.

First, in my son's short three years on earth, he's been through quite a bit. He experienced a severe arm injury at birth, had corrective arm surgery when he was 10 months, and was diagnosed with a significant speech delay at 18 months. He currently receives speech, occupational, and physical therapy. He's been a trooper through it all.

Second, he's been a rock star at potty training. That alone deserves a party.

Third, he's a great kid with a lot of friends and friends with parents whom I really enjoy (Not to mention we're constantly being invited to birthday parties. Reciprocity may be in order here).

Fourth, my son loves a great party. He loves to dance, sing, and run around. He enjoys socializing and playing games. It's going to be joyful just watching him with his friends.

Finally, I actually enjoy event planning. I'm having a blast checking out birthday party websites to get ideas for themes (Trucks, Trucks and more Trucks). I've been a savvy negotiator when it comes to the venue space. I've even decided, in lieu of gifts, we're going to have a box for "Toys for Tots." That will be optional of course.

I'm at peace with my decision and I'm actually looking forward to the birthday bash. I've resolved my dilemma and I'm ready "to send in the clowns"(just kidding). We're flying the Wiggles in from London (again, I'm kidding).

I read a great remark, which I'll paraphrase here: Let the child be celebrated, not the party. This is what my husband and I plan to do. Hence, our dilemma is solved.

JeanJeannie

We Should Have Sympathy for the Ohio Mom Who Left Her Child in the Car

This week I was horrified to read about the mother and assistant principal in Ohio who accidentally left her child in her car for 8 hours while she attended meetings at school. She says a stop for donuts threw her off her regular routine and she forget she hadn't dropped her child off at daycare.

I watched people on various news reports condemn this mother for split second mistake that resulted in a deadly consequence. People were angry that the prosecutor ruled it a mistake and refused to press charges. If she did get charged, arrested and sentenced-- I don't think any prison could compare to the prison she's living in now. I'm a mother. And I feel horrible when my child comes home with a bump on head or falls under my watch. Imagine the internal hell you'd be feeling if you made the fatal mistake that killed your child. I can't begin to understand how painful it must be for this mom and her family. I just hope more people will take the time to put themselves in her shoes before they pass judgment or publicly condemn her.